She has left me 10 to 15 times since we have been together but each time it still hurts the same. Please try to get some structure in your and your sons life. Im shutting down. Hug Two days later I went and begged for another chance.she said yes and we spent what I thought was a day filled with renewed spirit, touching holding talking. I found that he had taken my key out of my purse for the car. Do Saturday comes and she calls me. Not 2 weeks after she left she told me she has to learn to love herself get things good with the kids then we can work on us. She claims to have been feeling this way for a year, but what hurts is that she not only didnt tell me, but she has used all 5 of those reasons listed. My ex husband did the same thing I tried everything and nothing. Sage, yah that sounds like an affair and it sounds like she is admitting to it in her own way. Im not sure what exactly he was looking for, perhaps just being very emotionally transparent on an every day basis? Sorry for your situation i am also dealing with a similar situation I was just told by a woman I have been with for 9 years who is also the mother of our 5yo daughter that we will not be getting married next month as planned she will be getting married to someone else this was completely out of no where considering the past five mo have been nothing but me working no less than 80 hours a week as many as 120 just killing myself to build our house and support our family not only did she leave me alone on Christmas she took my daughter and went to be with this man thats older than her granparents she refused to give me a few hours wth my kid Christmas Day eventually I took my daughter that evening thing I cant figure is she was telling everyone of our apparent wedding date and spending all my money saying how she loves me so much and cant wait to be married just hours before she decided it was not what she wants now being in a smaller town immediately everyone knows i felt really low like Im young and have my own business I felt like I was doin ok trying to build a future and she leaves me for an old man I was not only heartbroken but also felt so embarrassed ashamed angry I couldnt even pick my head up I couldnt look anyone in the eye it has been pretty much the most humiliating horrible thing I have ever experienced as a recovering addict I hit a low that far exceeded my worst days of being a herion addict at this point Im still in what ppl wold consider a risky time period for relaps however its just not an option i just refuse to go back to that miserable exestiance being fully clean I felt alive for the first time in years I was feeling happier than Id ever been my life was going great I just couldnt be thankful enough I was at an all time high in life my daughter was just doing great got my business going beautiful woman life was just perfect and then it happened hit a low I never knew where did this come from this woman I trusted with my life how could she just leave me I never thought I could feel so horrible using has not been an issue I know the outcome and I dont need it never got a sorry or nothing not a dam thing it just goes on an on the things got worse and worse big mess she just wont stop trying to ruin my life point is my friend I made really do love this woman more than I can express but I have chosen to sever this wicked witch from my life other than picking up or dropping off my kid as much as it hurts not to fight for her she must not love anyone but herself if she is so willing to risk putting my daughter into a broken home possibility of triggering relapse that will certainly end my life the shame she puts on all of us the lies told for months in church to her parents that happen to be the most amazing ppl I have ever known broke their hearts as well due to their religious stand point and the relationship I have with them this was very disappointing to them disappointed is an understatement I actually was feeling bad about how much it hurt them I couldnt believe it these ppl loved me and their grandchild so much that it really really destroyed their hopes after all they had done to help us get our lives together including the financial means to build a house that was for the three of us something I could not have ever imagined living in without them I originally was doing the house just to help them do whatever they wanted to do with it but then they were just like by the way when its done you guys can have it we only worked nights weekends on it because I never would let them pay me even when I had no idea they would give it to us just because they had already done so much for me in the years I been with their daughter one of the harder things about loosing my girl was that I love her parents like they were my own and I have for many years through all this nothing will ever change between her parents and myself that is a big help I try not to be angry its not been but a matter of days Im up and down I just cant be with a woman that is so selfish and put my daughter through any more than she has endured she has been through enough and I dont have time to give my relationship it all needs to focus on my daughter not to mention that her mother has not shown or made any indication that she is sorry or even willing to come back if you feel like you cant live without her you can I feel the same way but I know I have loved before and I can again in time so can you if you feel you can work it out and move forward with a good result go for it this is not the first time this woman has done this to me you see we have been down this road and all I can say is this was the last time I already know she will make an attempt to come back at some point but I can not let her as much as it hurts and I want to be with her were humans too we deserve better than the pain that type of situation puts us in most times they do it once they will do it again I also have found that in my experience the more beautiful she is on the outside the person in that beautiful shell is ugly rotten there are girls that are beautiful all the way around you just have to be willing to look for them cause they are out there then you gotta be smart enough not to let them get away no matter what no woman is out of any mans league thats just what ppl say that dont have the confidence to get what they want dont feel like you have to accept being cheated on because your not gonna find someone better thats just not true and inner beauty is the way to go Ive had relationships with both and the the pretty ones always make life unbearable I have only met a small handful of women that were beautiful and not messed up in the head beyond repair I have met tons of girls I was not attracted to that by the end of a conversation were suddenly starting to be interesting eventually I become very attracted to and they have been the best girlfriends hands down this has been my personal experience I dont know if it helps but writing about it helps me and hopefully you werent like me and your woman was cheating with an old man this girl is super hot 26 and she is sleeping with an old man I mean like sixty thats just I hope thats not your situation its pretty damaging to my pride manhood whatever but in reality its not me what sane person does that I thought what if I did that to her with some old woman no thanks Im not into it even if I was Id be ashamed enough not too be open about it so if anything you can get a laugh out of it I used to always joke with this girl about her doin this when we watched the movie big daddy once and after that it was just a little joke we had apparently I was joking ok well I hope you come to solution that leaves you happy I am not happy about the choice I made but I just have to do it its hard to imagine the woman you love being with someone thats not you no matter how old or young either way it still hurts and makes you feel like life is over but u gotta take care of the little ones gotta be their dad nobody can be his or her dad better than u and dont go back into something you know is over but you dont want to accept it thats what I did even when she told me she loved me I knew she didnt but she would lie to me and i would pretend like she was telling the truth because I didnt want to accept it was really over for good at some point I knew I would have to so now is as good as any good luck to you I hope you get the best possible outcome just remember your not any less important than her if you let yourself slip into that idea they will walk all over you but I dont know I dont want to give bad advice thats just my experience everything I said is the way it happened for me but cant say for anyone else women are all a little bit crazy in some way guess we all are, Stay strong brotha. Sleeping in the spare room shows separation and guilt. His battlefield far out weighs ours! The unfortunate truth is unless two people are willing to work on a marriage it will never work. Last 5-6 years epic struggle to keep things on rails while kids matured to age where they could make decisions for themselves and process what was going on and why. Meaning both of you could have sensed it coming - and let it happen I found out she already had a rental before she even told me. He needs space to find himself. She wont answer my calls or anything again. I hope youre doing OK. Did you ever get a reason? They are in a place where they dont have any clarity and theyre in the middle of a crisis. I am missing a lot more but this story is long enough as it is. Just focus on those kids and how you can better yourself for them and you. I am an amazing husband and I am taking it all wrong. You can hate me, but there's one thing you can't say about me - that I didn't attack it.". I cant understand why they arent questioning this. I got your comment. it explains all the reasons that Iv ever left a relationship or been dumped (but that only happened once). So dont play the game. After everything promises etc he leaves again. it was no joke. So, we did not have that much left. 3. Slept in the living room the last 3 nights because he fell asleep out there. About three months ago he had been out in the garage for a particularly long time (this is were he smokes). The devil has taken him or her over but it is up to you to be the bigger person and fight through it. You dont want to have to recover from both. I found out last Friday (after him denying it over and over) that he is having an affair. Ok. What would people do in my situation. Either way, it can lead to these problems: A ruined reputation at work or at school Sometimes they come back together, but then they break up again because they need to be triggered so many times until they break so hard and finally they heal their wounds. A week goes by and I join her for another visit for 11 days. The list goes on and on, I did hold resentment for that and no I didnt tell him how wonderful he was every day, but I gave him a pat on the back when he needed it and Id set money aside so that we could have family time on the weekends and do fun things. I felt we became room mates and no longer husband and wife. Ive taken 2 sessions of therapy now as I was so devastated and one thing I was told is that Im not alone. In the past week i have been getting on good with her and i love her 4 kids and am a really good friend of her family.. My mum passed away suddenly in July 2014. She always eyeballed a house that her male boss was selling. My ex-husband used me for everything I had and then just left. Before you know it the entire family is wiped out. Its presidential candidate, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar, has done me no wrong. Hes not stopped contact completely he has messaged me and told me his not doing this to be nasty or hurt me he just doesnt feel happy in our relationship at the moment. Our younger teen lives with me in the family home and the two of us are hoping the court will allow us to move closer to family out of state. I am beyond hurt. The mediator couldnt understand why we were getting divorced. This is one of the most common reasons people leave a relationship. Now grab that bull by its horns and take a stand!!! please advice me what to do. I took this announcement very badly and as I had already opened up all that shit in my mind re the abuse, neglect, etc I had a breakdown and two days later I woke up to my 3-year old self holding onto an exacto blade knife in one hand and my penis in the other as I was attempting to cut that part off of me. They are distancing themselves from the pain they are not ready to deal with. But things with him have never been logical. I found this searching for some advice. My exwife left me for some guy she meet at a club and he choked her to death. I must also add that I am an incredibly honest person and I have never been afraid to tell people exactly what I think He said that he all of a sudden doesnt remember asking for a divorce. But I am steadily going forward. I suspected something was going on with her why she broke and i taught she was seeing someone and maybe this guy from before.. I finally waited by the locker and he finally came to the locker 4 hours. One more thing.. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. this feels like a nightmare for me and its hard for me to cope with on a daily basis. As a couple, its a very TOXIC relationship , the best one can do is to GET OUT and have NO CONTACT. Its awful. It made me feel sick. This is one of the best articles Iv read on goodtherapy so far. He left while i was at work after his deeds of emotionally cheating online w countless womam n hitting on women by neighbourhood saying he is single. He kept telling me he had to wrk 24 he shifts at a warehouse but when I asked where the warehouse was he wud gt defensive n angry so everythin started to make sense. I believe every situation has a grieving process and mine was about a month ..I smoked heavily and released my anger in the gym till my pain went away. Admittedly, infidelity has been a factor over th years with at least 3 incidents in th past with 1 most recent being 6 months into our marriage. He is compleyley taken care of and just because I can not work to earn my money he says its not mine . And the house. She had no problems telling me that she was moving out to her nieces. A girl who is blinded by love. 4 years ago my husband came home and announced he was thinking of divorce. My ex boyfriend just moved out left me carelessly with all the bill.He was always a depressed person and I was always there for him then I started to become depressed. Barking dogs are stressing him out and him yelling at the neighbours stresses me out. Im 59 shes 49. Remember that people fall in and out of love all the time, and you probably dont want to be with someone who doesnt love you deeply anyway. The self centered traits of the narcissistic parent gets worse and they seem not to care if their mask is off in the end ! Curious I went out and heard him drop something out of my sight. That beautiful love and that feeling of being whole and feeling at home that you only felt when you were with that person, that love is already in you. Fed up of the assumptions that there is another man involved ha! Im in so much pain physically. My husband filed a bogus Restraining Order and threw me out if my home. He literally left me and took my son for almost joint custody. In thinking about it, I realized that my pain was like a SEIZURE of sorts a *continuous* seizure (the neurologist agreed with my assessment); a signal to my brain that wouldnt turn off. The healing has begun but I still have to decide when to start the divorce process and am terrified to go through it as I always valued marriage as really sacred and wanted to build a lovely family of my own with the person that I thought really loved and appreciated me, but of course we were never in the same page. You may still love him but being gay is not a choice. If you are Christian, pray for there be justice n conviction lay upon your wife heart n soul n she will come to realization her mistake as she will not receive happiness by doing wrong to others. But I have no choice but to pick up my own pieces and move on because he left me with no choice. Its just going to crush me down the rd seeing her with another man. How will I survive this?! To which I protested and she got off the phone with me. Not only for our child but because I love her deeply. I am humiliated, devastated and heartbroken he would replace me so quickly. We cannot figure her out this is so unlike her. How to cope: As hard as it is, try not to take this personally. He said no, that for the first time in years he finally had a best friend. Too make it short our son had to go with me to pick up her car several times her friends brought her car home once before she drove her car off road through a mailbox into a tree totaled car was able to get past cop because he was looking for signs of alcohol let her manipulate him with a phantom car story and I was not notified until her car was towed to a lot. He doesnt pay his child support of 17 dollars a week, yet shows up at house with brand new shoes on his feet and new clothes on his body. Then, tear it up or burn it. But wow now three months of this has gone by and it only gets worse. I think its horrid because they are not educated and working as a medical professional in the industry they are giving really bad advice. WHY?????? she is on disability .She cant work or do the things that she loved to do. Or how about when you know theyre gay, but realize they arent leaving because you are paying the bills while they go to college, work, run the roads and do his thing. We have two children together. Youre alright I need some advice and to help here with my own feelings. Its hard to give up thinking they will come back. Unfortunately, theres little we can do about that. Any help and opinions would be gratefully appreciated. Know your legal rights ! Subscribe me to the GoodTherapy.org public newsletter. He said there was no one else and now he is back in his country parading around with someone else whom I have heard he plans to marry. Contact a lawyer, or find a friend who knows one. A lawyer, or find a friend who knows one are distancing themselves from the they! Her over but it is, try not to care if their mask is off in the industry they not. To recover from both spare room shows separation and guilt her out this is so her... ( after him denying it over and over ) that he is an. Stresses me out if my home what exactly he was thinking of divorce one of the assumptions there... 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